Response-bility

"iya gas kamu mau mau punya adek lagi nanti. ini udah 8 bulan. mungkin nanti kamu liburan pas Juni kamu udah liat adek baru..." Ayah,2013.

im completely SHOCKED.
yet finished my responsibility as a child to get a proper education,
ane bakalan dapet adek baru.
it'll be another happy days, i count it.
tapi punya adek dengan selisih 21 tahun itu gak gampang.
tanggung jawab moral pada keluarga jadi lebih besar.

terus terang ae dengan keadaanku sekarang,
aku mek mentok bisa mbiayai adek ku yg paling dekat. sekarang smp.
dad retire around 7-8 years ahead.
5 adik (2 from dads re-marriage and 3 from moms re-marriage).
2 sisters dari ayah yg paling tua baru masuk SMA pas ayah pensiun.
apalgi yang tiga-tiganya laki dari pernikahan ibu.
dan adek terakhir ini baru masuk kuliah pas ayah sudah jadi kakek.

investasi jangka panjang dari orang tua juga udah ada.
sebagai anak tertua dan laki untuk tidak terlibat dalam masadepan adeknya juga kesalahan besar.
dan saya juga sudah punya rencana sendiri buat supporting pembiayaan aktif adek2 untuk sewaktu2.
its not my responsibility. yet it is.
being the oldest of my brother and sisters takes a HUGE upcoming respnsibility.
responsibilty to keep them safe at "home"
responsibility to keep them proud,and
responsibility to keep them running

its better failing aiming high than succeed aiming low, Bill Nicholson said
i had a big plan,it was.
so that i have to re-build that into a bigger, bigger plan ahead.
not a standard aims that makes you whatsocalled lived happily ever after.
i dont want to overshitting ambitions.
my what-to-achieve-notes isnt merely what the best and suits me.
just fulfill the responsibility.
the games restarted into a higher level when you reached something.