Human Illustration ; Sketchwork

1)when the darkest heart eats nothin but its own mind and body
2)under-controlled,or uncontrolled (?)
3)when mind is completely complicating into the cube of emptyness
4)poor tier agressor

Hutang

"selamat ulang tahun!semoga liga pendidikan mu sukses!

nb:arloji ini ada biar kamu g bawa2 jam dinding ke tasmu lagi! :p"

....dengan tanda tangan,seutas hati di pucuk.....

.... setaun yg lalu,tgl 17 desember....

bagiku yg biasa2 saja thdp perempuan (saat itu),bagiku itu bukan sesuatu yg spesial...

seumur-umur,baru kali ini merasakan ini

seorang perempuan benar-benar bisa membuat "hutang"

yg mungkin,ak g bisa maafin diri sendiri,walau aku sukses nanti

agak naif kalo curhat di jurnal berupa blog spt ini

tp apa tiada daya,ak tak punya lagi rumah untuk sebentuk kata...

sudah lama aku berposisi seperti itu,terus terang saja,kadang ada saja yg "mencoba dekat",sejak sma

kadang aku senang dgn keadaan seperti tu,tp di sisi lain aku jg merasa risih

maksudnya bukannya aku jual mahal,tapi:"kenapa mereka memilih aku?"

aku bukan orang penting,gaulpun tidak

aku bukan orang kaya,punya mobilpun tidak

aku hanya seniman jalanan...

yg mencoba hadapi hidup seperti angin yg menerpa lambat.

banyak yg datang,lalu menghindar..

ada yg datang,lalu mundur mengalah demi yg lain..

tak jarang konflik internal antara hati mereka dan pilihannya

kadang tersa aneh krn aku tahu semuanya.tnpa perlu mencari tahu...

kadang itu juga jadi "beban" tersendiri,krn ak "tak bergerak" sedikitpun..malah menyiksa mereka...

tak jarang,bahkan mungkin selalu,ak langsung menjauh

menjelaskan alasan2 yg masuk akal,tp ada alasan yg lebih dalam dr itu,yg tak perlu mereka mengerti

"mereka semua orang baik dan perfect di bidangnya,sedangkan aku tak punya kapasitas sbg "pendamping" yg baik bg mereka,hanya tak ingin mrk mengepal sesal di kemudian hari,hanya karena "emosi dan perasaan" sesaat."

bener2 g enak jelasin semua kayak gini,tp apa boleh buat

suatu hubungan adalah komitmen.memang tak ada komitmen yg abadi,tp seberapa lama kita mau menjaga komitmen itu,atas dasar2 yg masuk akal pula tentunya.

sampai tiba pada perempuan yg satu ini,g perlu tak sebutin namanya.yg pasti dia baik,solehah,dan sedrhana (walau kalo makan sukanya di mall).ngajak makan,nonton bioskop,beliin kado ultah...kurang apa coba?dia juga lumayan cantik,tp apalah arti fisik buatku,kecuali senyum.sampai tahap sharing2 kehidupan satu sama lain.aku bener2 suka sharing hidup,jikalau aku bisa membantu kehidupan mereka jd lebih baik,ingin bilang "ini hidupku,jangan sampai kayak hidupku ya..."

dia paling berpengaruh selama ak di awal kuliah.mbantu sembarang kalir selama ospek,maksa aku agar lebih disiplin,sampe dia ngantri buat keringanan spp buat ak,tp tak ku gubris,krn waktu it ak benci hal2 ruwet dan berpikir "ngapain susah2 antri?" hingga aku sadar suatu ketika dan berpikir "knp dia rela susah2 antri,untuk ku?".payah,kenapa alasan selalu datang belakangan!?ak bener2 g peka sama sekali thdp perempuan,tidak menghargai usaha dia yg hanya mau membantuku jd lebih baik.krn yg hanya kupikir addalah "menjauh" agar g "masuk lubang" yg sama sepertiku.tapi ternyata....

yoi,penyesalan datang di saat yg g tepat.ya di akhir.mungkin karena dia yg "mencoba dekat" itu sampai segitunya,ak bener2 merasa menyesal yg paling mendalam.ak g peduli dia sudah punya pendamping atau gak,hal ini2 benar2 satu noda dalam kisah2 yg sama spt ini!hal yg paling sulit buat maafin diri sendiri.ak sempat bilang maaf via sms.dia cuma jawab "udah,km g punya salah kok gas :)".pikirku saat itu "yaiyalah,km g punya salah,melupakan kesalahan org bukan hal yg sia2,apalagi km sudah menemukan "yg tanggap" akan perhatian mu itu,tidak seperti aku yg punya salah,hanya hal kecil,yg makna penyesalannya lebih besar dripada ak di DO"

entahlah.mungkin akan tiba waktunya.saat yg tepat.entah brapa hari raya dan brp permohonan maaf yg sanggup melepas beban "hutang" ini.ak tak berharap km kembali atau tidak,hanya tolong maafin ak,entah dgn cara apa,dgn bgt ak bs maafin diri sendiri.ak tidak peduli dgn arloji yg kau berikan,aku masih menyimpan sepucuk surat ucapan yg mungkin buatmu biasa saja,tp buatku itu "titik kunci" penyesalan ini.....entah kapan,kau sempat membaca ini......semoga...

*kadang saat kita terlalu berharap,yg kita harapkan malah g datang n potensi sesal semakin besar.malah yg tingkat harapannya tidak terlalu,hal yg datang sangatlah besar dan berharga
karena itu ak g terlalu berharap,tp ak g akan melupakan dengan membuang masalalu itu*

Restart Dimensi

terbangun
si bidak plastik yg rapuh
aku bidak warna apa?
oh,merah
setahuku dulu aku bidak hitam

knapa ak masih disini?
knapa yg lain sudah separuh jalan?
sedang aku masih disaku belakang
siapa yang menaruhku di kotak start kembali?
oh,Tuhan
pemilik permainan ini
ternyata papan ini lebih luas dr yg kulihat

lalu,mana daduku?
senjata simbolik penegak langkahku
aku butuh itu!
tolong pinjami aku dadumu!
tidak mau?
lalu,daduku dimana kawan?
ha?

ternyata aku salah mengartikan permainan ini
dadu itu digenggam tiap bidak
tongkat jalan beriring tekad
aku telah membuang syarat permainan
ya,dadu itu
aku lupa melemparnya kembali
sedang yg lain menemukan tangganya
aku masih di saku belakang

ular itu yg salah!dia yg membelitku!
oh,bukan
itu salahku
ular dan dadu ada pada otak bidak
membuang dadu dan melempar ular
bermain seenak pusarnya sendiri
ular itu,aku.
namun dadu itu juga,aku
bidak itu,menghitam

berarti
aku harus melempar daduku ya?
ini giliranku bukan?
pertanyaan yg hanya bs dijawab oleh bidak merah
ya,nomor kotak kita boleh berbeda
tp tamat kita bersama
bidak itu sekarang menjemput tangga
bergegas renggut tangga pemilik papan ini
akan kuubah semua mata daduku menjadi enam!
jangan tunggu aku,kawan
biar bidak merah yg melihat punggung kalian
hingga dikala kalian berganti melihat punggungku...



Rolliandy Bagas,11 July 2011
16:28

hanya ungkapan perasaan.ya,kalian boleh sebut saya NATO(no action talk only).saya ternyata salah pijakan berpikir.saya mersa kehilangan motivasi adalah kegagalan dalam bertindak,dan tindakan dapat diambil bila kita punya motivasi,hingga akhirnya saya dibangunkan oleh ini: "tindakan ada bukan karena motivasi,namun dengan bertindak motivasi itu muncul belakangan" -Dr.Oz-
ya,saya sudah bertekad mengembalikan track saya.saya sangat berterima kasih dengan 1 tahun yg kalian berikan,kawan :) ak bertemu banyak org hebat.semoga kalian tetap jd org yg lebih baik,hingga aku sejajar dengan kalian.amin.trims.

Famous Last Words

Sometimes we could say something inspiring but fortunate before our last breath.this is the famous last words of all time:

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. Francisco ("Pancho") Villa I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast! "Black Jack" Ketchum, notorious train robber Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan Get these fucking nuns away from me. Norman Douglas Don't worry...it's not loaded... Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger. Is someone hurt? Robert F. Kennedy, to his wife directly after he was shot and seconds before he fell into a coma.

the Facts of A. Lincoln and J.F. Kennedy Death

Life

Both presidents had 7 letters in their last name. Both were over 6' feet tall. Both men studied law. Both seemed to have lazy eye muscles, which would sometimes cause one to deviate. Both suffered from genetic diseases. It is suspected that Lincoln had Marfan's disease, and Kennedy suffered from Addison's disease. Both served in the military. Lincoln was a scout captain in the Black Hawk War, and Kennedy served as a navy lieutenant in World War II. Both were boat captains. Lincoln was a skipper for the Talisman, a Mississippi River boat, and Kennedy was skipper of the PT 109. Both had no fear of their mortality and disdained bodyguards. Both often stated how easy it would be to shoot the president. Lincoln supposedly said, "If somebody wants to take my life, there is nothing I can do to prevent it." Kennedy supposedly said "If somebody wants to shoot me from a window with a rifle, nobody can stop it." Note that both these quotes are each 16 words long. Death Both presidents were shot in the head, on a Friday. Both were seated beside their wives when shot. Neither Mrs. Lincoln nor Mrs. Kennedy was injured. Both wives held the bullet-torn heads of their husbands. In each case, the man was injured but not fatally. Major Henry Rathbone was slashed by a knife, and Governor John Connolly was shot. Lincoln sat in Box 7 at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy rode in car 7 in the Dallas motorcade. Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Ford product, a Lincoln limousine. Mrs. Kennedy insisted that her husband's funeral mirror Lincoln's as closely as possible.

10 Places You Dont Want to Visit (Maybe)

These are ten places you don’t want to visit! Having said that, maybe the curious would get a thrill from visiting some of these strange and dangerous places, but for most of us, reading about it is quite enough. Feel free to mention any other contenders for the list in the comments.

10.Great Pacific Garbage Patch – Pacific Ocean

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N. Most current estimates state that it is larger than the U.S. state of Texas, with some estimates claiming that it is larger than the continental United States, however the exact size is not known for sure. The Patch is characterized by exceptionally high concentrations of pelagic plastics, chemical sludge, and other debris that have been trapped by the currents of the North Pacific Gyre. The patch is not easily visible because it consists of very small pieces, almost invisible to the naked eye, most of its contents are suspended beneath the surface of the ocean. This is not a place the average Joe would want to visit.

9. Izu Islands – Japan

The Izu Islands are a group of volcanic islands stretching south and east from the Izu Peninsula of Honshū, Japan. Administratively, they form two towns and six villages; all part of Tokyo. The largest is Izu Ōshima, usually called simply Ōshima. Because of their volcanic nature, the islands are constantly filled with the stench of sulfur (extremely similar to the smell of thousands of farts). Residents were evacuated from the islands in 1953 and 2000 due to volcanic activity and dangerously high levels of gas. The people returned in 2005 but are now required to carry gas masks with them at all times in case gas levels rise unexpectedly.

Sidewalk Chalk Street Art

Another type of  Drawing art!

it was really surprised that i found this one.Chalk Street Art.3D Chalk street art has always been one of my favorite types of Optical Illusions.  This collection is of  few Incredible 3D Chalk drawing from all around the world!Sidewalk chalk are typically large colored (and sometimes white or cream) sticks of calcium sulfate mostly used for drawing on pavement or cement sidewalk. It is sometimes used to draw a foursquare court or a hopscotch board.Sidewalk chalk is used at some universities to advertise for events, especially where there is much concrete. Prohibitions are set for where students can chalk, usually limiting it to areas that will be washed away with rain, or areas which are set to be cleaned of chalk markings.Artists such as Kuert Wenner,and Julian Beever have created intricate and realistic street paintings using the chalk and pastels. There are many competitions for chalk artists, including Pavement Art Competition in the Bold Street Festival in Liverpool in 2010.They include works of very artists such as Julian Beever and Tracy Stum and various other artists.All of these street arts are new to me, its exciting to find new chalk artists! So which one is your favorite?